"I Have A Dream..."

But It Is Not This.

I was born in Minnesota, and my dad was in the Army until I was twelve. For a long time we moved from base to base, mostly on the east/northeast part of the U.S. The farthest south we were ever stationed was in Kentucky, and I seem to remember that we were housed mostly in the predominately white sections of base. The first memory I have of being friends with a black person was when we finally got a house off of base, and in the city. Next door was a black kid named Terrell, who lived with his mom, sisters, aunt, and grandma. I thought it was odd that he didn’t seem to have a dad, but I didn’t ask questions. And that was all the difference that I noticed. Even when I went back to school to have lunch with my old teachers and saw him siting by himself, I didn’t wonder why. I grew up not knowing that a person’s skin color mattered in any way. And I’ve taught our kids the same.

I was talking to the older three kids this week about the protests, and why their uncle has been deployed for crowd control, any why all of this is happening in the first place. Because racism still exists.

I can tell that Maximus has been deeply affected by this because he got quiet. When the dudes get into his toys he gets loud and physical, but when something really gets to him he gets quiet and thoughtful. This time he just quietly told me that he wants to go to the next protest, that he wants to do something big. I agree with him, but I don’t feel comfortable going to a protest. So I told him to ask the school principal. He asked why her.

Then I did something that made me sick at heart. I asked him what color her skin was. He had to think about it. He hadn’t noticed. It took him a minute to remember. Her skin is black. Minimus said that she looked pretty and was nice, but he forgot what color her skin was. But the fact was, I had to make them think about how someone would think differently because of their skin color. I feel horrible.

I feel so bad that I don’t know what to write next. We’re going to think about this some more, and see if the principal has any ideas.